Which Way Forward?
Hmm it's been a long time since I've really written anything. Anything at all. I used to write lots. Most of it junk, but it was true catharsis. I should get back into the habit.So. At the time of writing. I've been in Milton Keynes for almost 6 months. After leaving Stirling with haste. A decision I do not regret. I really needed out of that place.
But, again here I am, pondering it all. I'm lost. In need of direction. I really need a shining light. I'm fed up of figuring it all out by myself. I've just been evicted, because my lease is up and my landlord wants to move back in. And in the grand scheme of things, it's not a big deal and it gives me the opportunity to see if I can find somewhere better to live. On the other hand, I feel like I've been constantly moving for the best part of a decade. I feel like I really need to just stop. I'd love to settle. Buy a house. Well, maybe not that drastic, hehe, but just stay put for a year or so.
And what about fun? What happened to that? It's been a while. I work, and code for QA, and sleep, and ocassionally go for drinks, and otherwise potter about by myself. Alone. And I do have to wonder, did I create this situation deliberately? Very possibly. Much like Pink's "Don't Let Me Get Me", on some level I'm always taking decisions that adversely affect my opportunites. Pain in the ass, really.
Jobwise. Well I like what I do, most of the time. Keeps me occupied, gives me a challenge. But in the long run, I don't wanna do this. I'm not fulfilling my potential, I'm not being as productive as I could be. I'm not inspired.
I'm not inspired.
Which Way Forward? Where to from here? Another 6 months, and there will be another leap I think. Though I'm blind to it all. Give me a guide, help me figure it out.