Graham of Anywhere

Graham's blog: politics, poetry, and introspection

I Sleep When I'm Sad

I love being productive. Writing, designing, coding, or otherwise creating. And I love going out and meeting people. Having fun. And generally not wasting my time. I like to do things, as much as I like to laze about and chill out for a while. A mix of all of the above is what I'm all about.

But when I'm sad, when I'm down, all of that seems to grind to a halt. So much so that all I ever wanna do is sleep. And given the chance, that's exactly what I'll do. I sleep when I'm sad. Probably something to do with the fact that when I'm alseep I don't have to think. When I'm asleep I'm not mulling over life and everything that I want to change.

It annoys me. Really it does. I feel like my time is worth so much more than this. I hate the feeling that I'm wasting away hours and days. But it lasts for weeks. Maybe it lasts indefinately. Until something changes, or until I manage to change something. Change my outlook I guess.

I'm uncontent with my job. I resent that I'm grossly underpaid. I resent that I have no money. I'm uncontent living in Stirling. I need to get back to the city. And the crunch, the real admittance - I'm lonley. I am lonely. I'm an independant dude, but even still. As put by Idlewild, "I created myself to be on my own, but I didn't expect to be alone". I wish it didn't affect me. But it does. Maybe that in itself is sad. I donno. I can't forget the past either. I'm stuck.
views: 1254responses: 7
Nicky   I feel that way too. it seems that when i try to gratify myself i never works out and mostly when i feel this way..i sleep the whole day.
`.Chris.`   Do you not think you could be suffering from something called hypersomnia? [url=http://www.psychnet-uk.com/dsm_iv/hypersomnia.htm]http://www.psychnet-uk.com/dsm_iv/hypersomnia.htm[/url]
Grumbug   I don't think so. I want to sleep, but I wouldn't say my body required it. I'm not excessively tired. And I'm not depressed either, just down. Stuck in a rut.
Jack,   Awwwwwwwwww grum :( *hugs*
mark13   Its happened to me before that when ive had a really stressful day or when ive been down in the dumps i just fall like a leaf to sleep.I think its a kinda natural reaction tbh.

Things will get better dont worry

Keep your chin up
Katieman   Aw Grum what happened? Why so blue? I'm still here if you want to chat, just give me a call. I want to give you a hug. I hope you're ok.

Huggles,
Katie
Big Mike   beter then drugs or alcohol, i always sleep and dream the thing i like and belive that someday my dream will cometrue.

Dreams do Cometure.