The self-centric blogs and tweets of a lost gay boy
Roam these pages if you're lonely and listless, or if you're looking for something but you don't know what, or if you feel like you're chasing a better version of yourself. I can't promise you'll read anything worth reading because I write purely for myself, but, nonetheless, welcome.
I grew up in a nice family and I attended a reasonably good state school, all within a nice suburban neighbourhood in the west of Edinburgh, Scotland. My parents split up when I was…
It’s funny how some names still evoke some sensations. Old pencil marks on old paper. Too few pixels on too modern tech. Overexposed and under-appreciated; understandable now only with faded emotion. It’s funny how we build lives upon lives. We so almost forget how we came to be.
17/12/2021 00:51
Growth never did come easy.
17/12/2021 00:52
For someone who lived within a one mile radius until the age of 18, the idea of home seems crazily undefinable. I was a teenage nomad and to this day that feeling is at its strongest when I’m back there. It’s been two years and I’m preparing to face it once again.
17/12/2021 01:04
Last time I flew to Edinburgh I had a boy in tow. Predictably I squirmed my way out of that one. And now I go back alone. To be the lonely one at Christmas. As would seem the plan. And I’ll find a way to look like I fit. I’ll pretend that I’m not on the outside.
17/12/2021 01:08
First Friday weekend, of what I hope to be a long-lived 4 day work week. One day I’d like this to be part of a healthy life/work balance but, for now, I’m hoping to use this to re-focus on project work. I’m hoping to find a way to do meaningful work, to make some sort of progress
03/12/2021 23:28
First Friday weekend, of what I hope to be a long-lived 4 day work week. One day I’d like this to be part of a healthy work/life balance but, for now, I’m hoping to use this to re-focus on projects. I’m hoping to find a way to do meaningful work, to make some sort of progress.
03/12/2021 23:29
Meanwhile, I’m finding the problem of home intractable. I’ve spent a lot of my life moving and a part of me really rails against it. But I can’t be here. And I don’t know where to be. If I’m to move, it has to be to somewhere I want to be.
03/12/2021 23:37
This borough sucks but I generally feel less safe now in this city. And I’m wholly uninspired by this country. Even this island, which has its charms, feels devoid of direction, of impetus. I wish I still had an EU passport. And I wish I was brave enough to leave.
03/12/2021 23:46
Weeks after quitting the commute into the office, and starting a new remote job where I don’t see anyone, I catch Covid. I mean, yes, there was that bar, that gig venue, and that nightclub, but still…
01/12/2021 22:25
Mild symptoms. Same as any phlegmy asthmatic cough I’ve had over the years. Self-isolation for 10 days now although I’m barely going to notice given I’ve returned to my favoured reclusive state. Good excuse for not going to the gym, though.
01/12/2021 22:38