Graham of Anywhere

The self-centric blogs and tweets of a lost gay boy

Photo of Graham
Hey! I'm Graham, a 30-something from Edinburgh, living in London. I tweet and blog about life, love, and purpose from my perspective as a gay guy, an introvert, and, ultimately, a lost soul.

Roam these pages if you're lonely and listless, or if you're looking for something but you don't know what, or if you feel like you're chasing a better version of yourself. I can't promise you'll read anything worth reading because I write purely for myself, but, nonetheless, welcome.
An averge adolescence
I grew up in a nice family and I attended a reasonably good state school, all within a nice suburban neighbourhood in the west of Edinburgh, Scotland. My parents split up when I was…
There is sadness in separation and there is pain in divorce. I think that holds true quite generally, irrelevant of scale, and irrelevant of whatever events brought you there. Division represents failure…
So I guess we’re going back 18 years to talk about a boy I dated for six months in 2002. “We” being me and the deeper, more subconscious part of myself. The part of myself which owns…
Today I reloaded QueerAttitude.com into localhost. It’s been 6 years since I’ve seen it in its final state, and it’s still frozen in time at 5pm GMT, Saturday 11 May 2014. I wanted to…
I’m conscious of every passing day. They tick by less like moons and more like minutes, moving me ever closer to more of the same. They say that every day is another chance to turn it around but…
It’s 2020. I’m 37. I’m living quietly and alone in a loud urban setting surrounded by strangers. Coronavirus restrictions have been easing off for around a month now but the following…
It’s funny how some names still evoke some sensations. Old pencil marks on old paper. Too few pixels on too modern tech. Overexposed and under-appreciated; understandable now only with faded emotion. It’s funny how we build lives upon lives. We so almost forget how we came to be.
17/12/2021 00:51
Growth never did come easy.
17/12/2021 00:52
For someone who lived within a one mile radius until the age of 18, the idea of home seems crazily undefinable. I was a teenage nomad and to this day that feeling is at its strongest when I’m back there. It’s been two years and I’m preparing to face it once again.
17/12/2021 01:04
Last time I flew to Edinburgh I had a boy in tow. Predictably I squirmed my way out of that one. And now I go back alone. To be the lonely one at Christmas. As would seem the plan. And I’ll find a way to look like I fit. I’ll pretend that I’m not on the outside.
17/12/2021 01:08
First Friday weekend, of what I hope to be a long-lived 4 day work week. One day I’d like this to be part of a healthy life/work balance but, for now, I’m hoping to use this to re-focus on project work. I’m hoping to find a way to do meaningful work, to make some sort of progress
03/12/2021 23:28
First Friday weekend, of what I hope to be a long-lived 4 day work week. One day I’d like this to be part of a healthy work/life balance but, for now, I’m hoping to use this to re-focus on projects. I’m hoping to find a way to do meaningful work, to make some sort of progress.
03/12/2021 23:29
Meanwhile, I’m finding the problem of home intractable. I’ve spent a lot of my life moving and a part of me really rails against it. But I can’t be here. And I don’t know where to be. If I’m to move, it has to be to somewhere I want to be.
03/12/2021 23:37
This borough sucks but I generally feel less safe now in this city. And I’m wholly uninspired by this country. Even this island, which has its charms, feels devoid of direction, of impetus. I wish I still had an EU passport. And I wish I was brave enough to leave.
03/12/2021 23:46
Weeks after quitting the commute into the office, and starting a new remote job where I don’t see anyone, I catch Covid. I mean, yes, there was that bar, that gig venue, and that nightclub, but still…
01/12/2021 22:25
Mild symptoms. Same as any phlegmy asthmatic cough I’ve had over the years. Self-isolation for 10 days now although I’m barely going to notice given I’ve returned to my favoured reclusive state. Good excuse for not going to the gym, though.
01/12/2021 22:38