Graham of Anywhere

Graham's blog: politics, poetry, and introspection

Difficult Decisions

I've been thinking. Bad habit, I know.

I've decided to quit all web development projects. With the exception of QA. Hehe. QA has value beyond currency. And it's not a job, it's a hobby I guess. But. I'm drained, mentally. I'll lose out financially, but I actually can't think about webdev contracts at the minute. Especially when I come home shattered every day after work. Some people are gonna be really pissed off with me, but, I just can't do it. I need to sort out my life right now. Maybe some day I'll go down that road again. Besides, QA is in dire need of some development, and I'd really like to try and make progress on that.

I've decided the time has come to leave Stirling. I need to move. My lease ends next month, and we can keep renting this place on a month-by-month basis thereafter. So the time really is now. I'm going to move back to Edinburgh, as soon as feasibly possible. But it's kinda dependant on getting a better job because it's an expensive city.

So. I've decided to really move my ass and do some proper job hunting. It's a shame that I've got to leave my work, because I like it, I really do. But. The company is a mess, I'm underpaid and undervalued, and I'm broke. So this is no time to be sentimental. Right?

I've decided that I haven't decided what to do about my love life afterall. And that, really, I'm still a bit of a mess. At the New Year, I'd kinda half-heartedly decided to quit longing for a boy I went out with years ago, because he really didn't seem that interested. Some are more important than others though, and some you'll love forever. But if you can't go back, you've gotta go forward.

And I've also decided that I have to be more brave. Just say what needs to be said. It's the only way to make progress. I'll work on it. Call it a belated New Year's Resolution.

So to summarise all of this, I've decided I have no idea where exactly I'll end up, but I really gotta start moving in any direction that leads away from here...
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Jay.   With whatever you decide to do, good luck! The move to Edinburgh sounds like a good idea from what you've said...hope you have a happier, less stressful and a better life financially, socially and generally for 2006 :)

Jay xxx
Robin   I think you're making the right decision, as you know mate. Power through, get to the happy place :-)

Just don't forget, down is a direction too, so I hope when you say you want to move in any direction that leads away from where you are at the moment, you're still looking up. Actually, I know you are, I just wanted to say it.

I know things will work out good in the end for you, you so deserve it. But nevertheless, best of luck!
mark13   You gotta do whats best for you i guess.If that means saving yourself from cgoing crazy in stirling then fair enough.

Thins will get better,dont worry :D