Graham of Anywhere

Graham's blog: politics, poetry, and introspection

Starting Again

I'm slowly but surely getting my life re-organised down here in Bedfordshire. It's a little bit wierd being a Scotsman in the south of England, surrounded by southern accents, but I've decided that Britain really is a small place. Apart from the accents, is anything really that different? Not really. I have to pay for water down here, as opposed to it just being covered by my taxes. Which seems unfair. And there's bigger Asian and African communities - so much so that entire locales are no-longer British. I'd hate that to come across as racist - I'm just making an observation.

It's all good though. It's fantastic to have a change of scenery. I was in Stirling for over five years - way too long to stay in that small town. There was nothing for me there. I'll admit that I've moved 350 miles south to another small town, but at least I'm working in the city, and I've got a whole new area to explore.

Still adjusting to the fact that, right now, I'm very much on my own down here, and that I'll have to do all this exploring by myself. I'm big enough and ugly enough to handle that - I'm an independant dood after all - but I miss having friends at my side, and I miss sharing everything.

The situation is mirrored in my new job. I have two direct boses who make the big decisions, but I'm a bit of a one-man band with regards to the responsibilties I have, and I'm having to find out a lot of things for myself, by tracking down people who can help me, because I don't have anyone to learn from. It's cool, it's a bit of a challenge.

The whole thing is a bit of a challenge. Everything is new and more than ever before, I'm standing on my own two feet. My big cousin toured the World on his own, which is amazing, and in some sense this leap for me is pale by comparison. But we've each got to find our own way through life. Hopefully not alone, though. If that makes sense.

So. I've moved to England. It's interesting - what one snap decision can do. And it's interesting how easy that decision can be made after years of not wanting to. I still believe I'll return to Edinburgh one day to live - it's a cool city - but I believe we all need to leave our hometown to appreciate what it has to offer - even if you have no intention of returning. And it's important to widen your horizons - see your country, and see the World.

And I fully intend to do the latter, I do. I just feel that I haven't really been in the right place to do it. Metaphorically speaking. I still like idea of touring with someone else. Maybe I'm not brave enough yet to do it on my own. I donno.

Not brave enough to go clubbing on my own either - I mean - I don't wanna pull. I just want people to hang out with, ya know? So I reckon it'll take me a wee while to find friends down here. But, what's new. It's always taken me ages to find friends. I just take a bit of time to come outta my shell. That's fine - I've had enough time to deal with that one.

Yeah. So. That's enough non-linear ranting for now I think. Saturday night. Think it's gonna be a geeky one spent online. All hail the geeks.

E-hugs.

Grum x
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