Graham's blog: politics, poetry, and introspection
one:life | one:crowd | one:love
I'm a drifter. Drifting is easy. Decisions on the fly. Never really applying too much thought to the long term. It's always been so far away. And I've never really known, known the plan. "I am young and I am lost" - Maximo Park.
Growing slightly less young though, and ideally growing slightly less lost too. Feeling the need to pause, and take stock of it all. Need to finally decide Which Way Forward. Although forward often implies leaving things behind, and in my ways, there's things in my life which probably need to be resigned to the past yet I lack the desire.
Or something like that. It's got a lot to do with something. Something unrequited. Maybe a bit of a fuck up. But I love it. And him. And friends, as second best, is a strange but necessary reality. It's something that I feel deep down, one thing that I actually understand.
It makes perfect sense. Yet serves only to confuse the hell outta me. I need to move on. And not in a pretend way.
But. Yeah. Giglog.
At this year's Edinburgh's T On The Fringe I've seen:
The Fratelli's (supported by Scissors For Lefty) at the Liquid Rooms
The Upper Room at Cabaret Voltaire
Maximo Park (s/ The Research) at the Corn Exchange
Snow Patrol (s/ Elbow and the Hazey Janes) at Meadowbank Stadium
I'll prob expand on that later.
Uhuh. I'm tired. And heading back south to MK tomoz I thinks. And it's late (early). Should sleep. Yeps.
b*u*b*r*y* ...And let you spin in your world and rest your head only to pause. The appliance of thought is only ever a solution to the seemingly never-to-be solved. "One step too far is not far enough, away from here. Stay close to me doesn?t relax your grip on my right hand." Snow Patrol, We Can Run Away Now They're All Dead and Gone.
So you fell, deep and longingly wanting more you never needed to question it, yet knowing wasn?t the need, knowing was intuitive. Like a saddle on a bike it was there. Always needed and always noticed but never questioned. So you cycled, pushed your energy into progression then you stopped, you needed rest knowingly or not it was there. Needed only as secondary it was the best that could come.
Confused and dazed you got on your bike pushed the wheels and off you went. Wheels spinning into a seemingly endless rotation and you only stopped to rest your head. But there was still cum on the pillow and thoughts in the shed. Where was it. Who was it and when did it get here. A rabbit goes by followed by many more cute and bouncy but not the same as the one you once held close as a pet. The image of this pet poured out emotion as you stopped to take in the view.
You had achieved a sense of something. Would it be the same as before though? I guess not but that was merely incidental as what you brought with you now was a wealth of knowledge and a backpack full of bricks. The building blocks of something new were unknowingly with you. I wanted you to succeed with your journey and I knew you would with a skip in your walk and a heel on your shoes you began walking. A burst of cold fresh air helped you stay awake. It was a top up if you will.
"Tell me something I don?t know cos we've been at it times before, make it up as we go along and were in so deep it cant be wrong? Athlete, Modern Mafia. This is seemed to be a spinning cycle. Rotation leads rotation, high meets low. And all of a sudden, in the chaos of life, an eerie balance emerges. Sitting in silence brings just as much hope as a chorus of choirs. "Don?t it make you smile, let it will be" Madonna, Let It Will Be. Here for a hand here for a chat. Here, random as always, was a gift of thought from me to you perhaps it will forever be another random collection of words but hopefully you?ll pull out meaning and create your own context. G x