I picture us in our home. A home, together, where we can base our lives. You do your thing and contribute what you have, and I'm doing my thing in my little world. We're content and happy with what we do, and we're productive and effective and inspired. Inspiring. And we know they'll always be someone to help us keep going. Stable. Settled. And loving.
That's what I want for the future. That's my dream. I wanna travel and see things, but I still want a home. I don't feel like I've had a home in so long. It's important to me.
Hey, I heard you'd run away
But where you gonna run?
You got such a pretty face, and the world's a small, small place
'Cos when you're running on your own
You know you ain't like a rolling stone
Because a stone will find it's place
- Richard Ashcroft
I talk a lot about the future these days, I admit. I think the point has come where I can't just aimlessly drift as I always have. That won't make me happy. Especially if drifting is tantamount to running from time to time. So I guess I'm coming to the realisation that I need to get my house in order. And I am.
Starting going the gym. Don't love it but will make myself do it. I skiied the other day for the first time in a decade. I'll buy some salopettes and get into that a bit more. And I'll really think about what my next move is. I'm not gonna be in this place for too much longer. It's not doing it for me. I think I need to be back in Scotland. It's decision time. And it's not often I actively make decisions when it comes to my own life. But that's part of the key.
And as for the dream, the boy in the dream. Well. I guess that's open to chance. You don't invest in me at all, and you just don't seem to give a shit for the majority of the time. And you, dood, what about you; you're brilliant but you have a boyfriend. And you?
Time will tell. But I know one thing for sure, everything is random and nothing is set in stone. I'll take it as it comes.